William Daniel Trimble

November 30th, the details of the day have been spoken many times before but the spiritual aspect I have kept to myself. William Daniel was born on December 7th, 2002. 1.5 pounds. He was due in April.

A week before Williams birth my Grandma Hall, I went to visit. She came up to me and touched my belly. She said" take care of your mom". In not knowing why she said it till meeting her at my dad's for Christmas. She stated "she could not tell me what happening and she was sorry". I understood and knew that in spiritual realm. Thou we would like to protect our loved ones we also have to allow them to go threw the path laid out to them since birth.

In the hospital for 7 days. As my son was being scanned during a ultrasound. He could be seen laying on his stomach, putting his head in the little water left for him to survive. Coming up and holding his breathe and going back down in the water. When I prayed he could be felt pushing his hand up to mine every time.

Yes, as any mom I prayed everyday and as we both became sicker. An both our lives were in danger. One night alone in my room. I called upon my spirit guides and heavenly father. I prayed that he did not suffer and I wanted him to be like other children. I wanted a full life for him. In that I would not be angry if he went back to heaven. That I loved him enough and had peace that his journey. I hoped his passing had a purpose and that in these years since his passing. I have been shown. At that moment in reaching the point of letting him go. I sat alone in my room I felt lots of people touching my legs. I felt an embrace from behind me as I was sitting up. I felt a warm face on the side of my cheek and two arms wrapped around my shoulder in front.

William hung on enough time during a full 7 days to wait for my mom to arrive from Michigan. He let her hear his heartbeat and when she touched my stomach he moved.

The morning of having him was traumatic because I had him in the washroom. I felt the relief with no pain as a incompetent cervix you do not feel anything really. As soon as I felt the relief, I had two hands on my shoulders keeping me sitting so I did not look. I was alone in the bathroom. When I messaged nursing staff. One nurse came in, I walked to my bed after her helping me. I never found out his sex even in ultrasound. Laying in the bed in a room by myself. I felt like every mom that touching heaven feeling after your child is born. The nurse came and said its a . I stopped her and said" a boy". She smiled. In those moments as I laid there I became almost uplifted. When I got to hold my son for the first time. I remember giving him a kiss on his third eye and saying I will see you soon.

My Grandma Harvey came to my hospital room. Her and I went to visit him downstairs of the hospital. I do not need to explain what it is. He was in a huge bag laying there with his hands in praying position. She prayed on him and said a little prayer with me standing beside her.

As a mom you have a thought after losing your child of what your child could of been. Then I started to think how lucky I am that I got to see him and hold him some moms do not get that chance. How lucky I was to be pregnant some moms do not get to experience seeing a positive pregnancy test. Then I think of those who are trying how lucky they are because the worry of your child is over whelming at times.

In the 22 yrs Special moments happened:

My Grandma Hall passed in August the year Connor was born. She put her hands on my stomach and said "take care of your boy".

My Grandma Harvey passed in December. She called Connor who was 9 to her beside, Connor was having nightmares I did not mention to my grandma. He put a cross by his bed and he would wake up in tears. He found out that he had a brother too early and it scared him where he was and was William scared not be with us. The day Connor sat on her bed with my mom beside me. She told Connor that she had seen his brother and he looked just like you. I am going to take care of him. You are not to cry anymore, he wants you to know he is ok. Connor nodded his head and touched her hand. Connor remembers the conversation. In that moment I wanted to ask my grandmother all these questions about him but I felt I had tape over my mouth and was to just listen. It was Connor time to heal.

My best friend Justina who as now passed. Gave me an angel holding a puppy. This was significant because I was having a hard time with the middle name. William was after my grandpa Harvey, Daniel was after my Dog I loved so dearly. One of my nephews has my son's name in his name. He carries the Hall name after my Grandad.

Last year was significant, 2 Days after his birthday. I actually went into session with my Reiki Master Candice Major. I was able thru meditation, to see a white house on a small corner lot. with lots of trees around it. I was able to be allowed in the home. Where I watch this dark hair tall kid get up from the kitchen table and walk around the corner into the hall way where he proceed to a bedroom where he sat on a bed looking at a picture book. When he looked up I saw him for the first time, he does look like Connor has his eyes & forehead. His nose is like my ex husbands. His body is broader shoulders and his eyes were blue. His hair was a dark colour like mine. For that moment I felt peace and love. I could not talk to him but I know when he is around in spirit. Today is one of those days where its take your son to work day. I say with a smile. My advice to a mom or dad who miss your children keep talking to them. Like they are with you because they are.

This is the spiritual side of my journey with my son William Daniel Trimble. Who watches over Connor and I . Hugs to those of you who struggle this time of year as well. I always donated a toy I would of bought for William to the salvation army. Now that he is older its clothes I donate. Its the memory of him each day to help others thru being my blessing. Feels amazing to buy him a gift and help others.